


Secret Passageway #14

by JanuaryGrey (Jan3693)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Exploring Hogwarts, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, R/S 24 Hour Challenge, The Marauder's Map, secret passageways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 07:30:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jan3693/pseuds/JanuaryGrey
Summary: While taking measurements of the Hogwarts kitchens for the Marauders Map, Sirius and Remus discover a new secret passageway that leads to somewhere they’ve only ever imagined before.





	Secret Passageway #14

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Chromat1cs for this _Clue_ themed 24 hour challenge! Here are Remus and Sirius in the kitchen (and the lounge) dealing with a pipe and a candlestick, and also the words plum and peacock.

“I’m beginning to think you had ulterior motives for wanting to map out the kitchens, Moony,” Sirius said as he dutifully wrote down the lengths a levitating measuring tape was taking on its own. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Padfoot,” Remus said. The words were muffled by the forkful of chocolate plum cake Remus had just shoved into his mouth. He sat on top of one of the four long tables that mirrored the house tables in the Great Hall above, watching Sirius make notes. 

Sirius glanced over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at the plate Remus held on his lap. It was late, and the kitchen staff was down to only a few elves preparing bread for tomorrow’s breakfast or cleaning the last few pots and pans. However, they had been more than happy to take a break from their normal duties to fetch Remus an enormous slice of cake.

“Right, well finish stuffing yourself quickly, I’m almost done here,” Sirius said without any real irritation. The full moon was getting close, and Remus hadn’t eaten much all day. If he wanted to gorge on sweets in the middle of the night, well, at least he was eating something. 

Sirius didn’t even mind having to do all the work himself. The charmed measuring tape slithered about doing the difficult bits. Sirius just had to sketch out the rooms and record the dimensions to add to the map that would soon be their great triumph, the ultimate pranking aid. They’d already charted the easily accessible parts of the castle, and had even managed to sneak in to some of the more restricted bits, like the other houses’ common rooms and even Dumbledore’s office. 

Cartography was more fun than Sirius had originally imagined. Already they had found thirteen secret passages, including a few that led out of the castle. Two even led all the way to Hogsmeade, which opened all sorts of wonderful possibilities. 

Finished with its work, the measuring tape dropped limply to the floor along the back wall near one of the enormous fireplaces. Sirius set down his notebook and quill and went to get it. However, as he bent down, he noticed a small change in the air temperature near the floor. It was colder than he would have imagined with the fire so close by. 

Sirius grinned. He’d found fluctuations like this before. Sometimes they were just drafty spots. The castle was old, after all, and the spells that kept it unnaturally cozy for something so large and made entirely of stone sometimes needed to be recast. 

However, sometimes the drafts indicated something else entirely. Grabbing the measuring tape in one hand, Sirius ran back to the table and flipped through pages of notes. 

Remus gulped down another mouthful of plum cake. “Almost done,” he promised.

Sirius waved a dismissive hand in his direction. “Never mind the cake, Moony. I think I’ve found something!” The page he was looking for was filled with measurements for the rooms and corridors around the kitchens. Sirius did a quick bit of arithmancy in his head and grinned. Yes, the kitchens extending about five feet further west than the rooms located behind them. In his experience, that indicated one thing.

“Another secret passage,” he whispered before turning to Remus with a smile. “Moony, I’m pretty sure I’ve found another secret passage!”

Remus’s eyebrows shot up, and he set the last bit of his cake aside. He held out a hand for the notebook and did a quick check of Sirius’s calculations. When he handed the notebook back, he was grinning as well. 

“Let’s take a look then,” Remus said. Any thoughts of bed or curfew or possible detentions were pushed aside as the pair examined the section of wall where Sirius had noticed the draft. The house elves eyed them curiously, but didn’t interfere. That was generally how they operated. They wouldn’t help any students breaking rules or causing mischief, but neither did they report said mischief or try to interfere. These elves served Hogwarts, not the students or teachers or even the headmaster. 

After feeling the draft for himself, Remus agreed that Sirius almost certainly had found Secret Passageway #14. Now they just had to figure out how to get it open. They ran through the usual methods quickly, pushing at certain stones, searching for cracks or chinks in the mortar, casting spells, and whispering words that had opened other passages for them. Remus even poked the wall with his wand and said “Open Sesame!” which was apparently a secret password in some Muggle story.

None of it worked. Remus was almost ready to give up when Sirius twisted a hook hanging on the wall near the fireplace. There was a grinding sound, and a section of the stone wall inched out of place. 

“You’re a genius!” Remus said brightly. He paused to plant a swift kiss on Sirius’s lips before rushing to investigate the newly opened passageway. It was dank and gloomy and narrow, full of a stale smell and enough cobwebs to imply that it hadn’t been used in a long time. That made it all the better. Truly secret passages, the ones no one, not even Filch, knew about were always the most interesting ones.

“Shall we?” Remus asked, lighting the tip of his wand with a quick spell. Behind them, the house elves threw a few curious glances their way, but they didn’t seem very surprised by the passage, and none of them moved to stop the two boys from entering it.

Sirius took Remus’s free hand and together they stepped inside the hidden corridor. The doorway closed behind them, cutting off the light and the warmth of the kitchens, leaving them with only the glow of Remus’s wand and the smell of damp, moldy stone in that cramped, claustrophobic passage.

The corridor was a long one. It went straight for a while before leading to a set of steep stairs that must have taken them up at least two or three floors. When it leveled out on what Remus guessed was the first floor of the castle proper, they encountered new obstacles, including a tangle of pipes they had to climb over or under. 

“This thing’s huge!” Sirius said as he pulled himself up and over a pipe the size of an ancient tree trunk. Remus had, perhaps more wisely, chosen to crawl beneath the gargantuan pipe. “You could practically walk through it.”

Remus wrinkled his nose and brushed the cobwebs and dust off his robes. “Given what must flow through some of these pipes, I wouldn’t recommend trying, Sirius,” he said dryly. Sirius stuck his tongue out and they both laughed before continuing on. One sharp right turn a few dozen feet past the enormous pipe, and Remus and Sirius finally found themselves at what was clearly the not-so-secret backside of a hidden door.

“Anything could be on the other side,” Remus cautioned as Sirius reached for the handle. “We could be walking straight into Filch’s bedroom.” The grin on Remus’s face belied his words of warning. There was no way they weren’t going to open that door, even if it led to danger and certain detention.

“Well, then we’ll finally be able to settle the debate of whether he sleeps on one of those old torture racks or in an iron maiden,” Sirius sniggered. 

This door opened with a less than subtle squeal of hidden hinges. There was a tapestry on the other side of it, which made the already heavy stone door almost impossible to shove open. Between the two of them though, Remus and Sirius managed to push through and tumble out into a large comfortable chamber.

Sofas and overstuffed arm chairs were scattered around a large, banked fireplace to their right. That part of the room almost resembled the student common rooms. However, the room also contained a simple kitchenette with a sink and a long counter. A large selection of tea tins sat stacked near two charmed kettles and a neat row of clean mugs and teacups. A few small tables filled the space between the kitchenette and the sitting area. 

“What is this place?” Sirius wondered aloud. He lit the end of his own wand to provide them with more light in the dark, empty room. Letting go of Remus’s hand, they both wandered in different directions, Sirius toward the kitchenette, and Remus, of course, toward a pair of bookshelves in the sitting area. The room was obviously in use, but it didn’t belong to any of the student houses. 

“Padfoot, I think…I think we’ve found the teachers’ lounge,” Remus said, awe in his voice. Sirius froze, a tin of English breakfast tea in his hands. Still holding the tea, he swung around to gawp at his boyfriend.

_“No way!”_ Sirius gasped. His eyes swept around the room again with new interest. They’d heard rumors that the Hogwarts professors had their own private lounge somewhere in the castle, but so far none of their searches had turned up any such room. James was going to be _so_ jealous. 

Sirius turned back to the countertop. These teas must belong to his teachers. These must be their mugs and teacups. He tried to match each one to a professor. McGonagall’s was probably the Montrose Magpies one, and the brown homemade looking one reminded him of Professor Sprout. Sirius picked up a peacock blue one he thought might belong to Slughorn and had the urge to lick it, to lick all of them. He really wished he had thought to bring some stink pellets or some belch powder with him.

“What’s over on the professors’ private bookshelves?” Sirius asked Remus, who was still perusing the titles. “Please tell me it’s a bunch of centaur romance novels.”

“Not so much, a few old copies of textbooks, but it’s mostly magazines,” Remus said. His fingers ran along the edge of the shelf. “ _Transfiguration Today, Which Broomstick, Challenges in Charming_ though there are a surprising number of _Witch Weekly_ back issues. I wonder whose those are.”

“I bet they’re Dumbledore’s,” Sirius said with a laugh. “He probably uses all the hair styling tips and charms on that beard of his.” Remus chuckled and finally drifted away from the bookshelf. He and Sirius both stared around the room. 

It felt like they were trespassing, which made Sirius feel giddy and reckless.

“I want to steal something,” he announced, glancing around the room for some trophy he could smuggle out under his robes. Some tea? No, too simple. A mug maybe? No, too easily identifiable. 

Then he laid eyes on a pair of candlesticks sitting on one of the tables. They looked like they were pewter, not too valuable, but clearly stamped with the Hogwarts crest. 

That. 

He wanted that. 

Just one though. He wanted to break up the pair and leave everyone guessing what had happened to the other one. He walked over to the table and picked up one of the candlesticks, showing it to Remus with an impish smirk.

“Sirius…” Remus’s tone implied his disapproval. It wasn’t exactly a no, but Sirius didn’t want to start a fight right now. 

“Fine,” Sirius said with a sigh, putting the candlestick back on the table. “Can we at least snog on the teachers’ sofa for a bit?” 

The smile Remus shot him in return was positively predatory. He crooked a finger at Sirius and dropped onto the sofa in question. Sirius bounded after him, tumbling over the back of the sofa to pounce on his boyfriend. His lips sought Remus’s own as their hands tangled in each other’s robes and hair.

He could always come back for the candlestick another time.


End file.
